WELCOME TO
M Y L I F E
photo by Gillian Smit
Well … it’s finally here. I have been planning my study abroad since freshman year--I went into college knowing it was something I wanted to do, and now it’s really happening, starting bright and early tomorrow morning (my plane leaves from Sacramento at 8 AM!!). Even though I spent so much time preparing for it last semester--making numerous accounts for preliminary visa registration, running around the school getting signatures, meeting with advisors in person and over the phone, applying for scholarships, and going to San Francisco to apply for the visa--it still doesn’t quite seem real. To give you some background, I have felt drawn to France and French culture since I was little and playing with Madeline dolls. Paris was my number one place I wanted to go in the world, and one weekend in seventh grade, my mom surprised me by saying we would be going there over Spring break. It was a great trip--we used the Rick Steve’s guidebook to make the most out of the short time we had there and managed to see all the major attractions: Versailles, the Louvre, the Orsay, the Orangerie, the Rodin, the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, etc. We ate some amazing food and enjoyed walking around the city while it was in bloom.
The summer before my sophomore year of high school, my family had a French exchange student come and live with us for a few weeks. We had a great time taking her around to some cool places in Sacramento as well as San Francisco and Tahoe. The next summer, she invited me to come stay with her in France for two weeks. At 15 years old and with only two years of high school French under my belt, I got on a plane alone (my first time flying alone) to visit her and her family, who did not speak any English. It was scary, uncomfortable, and extremely isolating at times, but overall it was an amazing experience being immersed in another culture. Now I’m about to do it again, but for much longer (and I’m going to be going to school, instead of just traveling and having fun). It seems new and scary, but I have to remind myself that I’ve done it before. Not this exactly, but I’ve flown to France by myself, and I have also thrown myself into a completely new academic and living environment where I knew no one (college). I know a lot more French now, and I’ve had experience living on my own and shopping and cooking for myself. I know I can do it again. I’ve also grown a lot in the past few years and especially in the last semester, learning a lot of hard but important lessons that I know I will carry with me to France. I’ve learned that, unfortunately, I can’t control everyone’s opinions of me. There will be people who misunderstand me, judge me, or flat out don’t like me. I’ve learned that other people’s judgments of me are more a reflection of their own internal struggles than they are of me, and that the same is true for me when I judge others. I have learned that my feelings, values, and beliefs are valid regardless of whether or not other people understand, agree, or even care. “Good enough” is my new mantra when it comes to schoolwork to continue overcoming my perfectionist tendencies that cause me to obsess over details and spend more time than I should on assignments. I desperately want everything in my life to be perfect and hate making mistakes, but I know I’m going to have let go of that this semester. I’m going to make a lot of mistakes when I speak French, but I’m going to keep trying anyway because I want to improve. I am going into this adventure with an open mind, with no hard and fast rules for what I need to do or what needs to happen, aside from the intention of getting outside of my comfort zone and living every moment to its full potential. See you on the flip side! May
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AuthorHey guys, it's May! I hope you'll join me as I document my semester abroad. Archives
May 2020
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