WELCOME TO
M Y L I F E
photo by Gillian Smit
I am officially done with undergrad! I had my last final on Tuesday, and today was my last day of work. I can’t believe how fast these four years at CSULB flew by. I am devastated that the last half of my final semester got taken away from me--this was supposed to be a semester of reflection, time with friends, and enjoying my last rec center classes, singing in my last choir concert, and taking my last walks around campus. Instead, it was cut abruptly short. I feel cheated that I didn’t get that closure. I am also, of course, upset that I won’t get to have a traditional graduation ceremony (as of now, they are still trying to get one for fall, but they’re not sure what the restrictions will look like because large gatherings are going to be the last things to be permitted again). I remember my high school graduation as one of the happiest and proudest days of my life. I got to celebrate four years of hard work with my three best friends at the time, one of whom gave a speech, and I was one of the valedictorians of my class. I knew my college graduation wouldn’t be quite that special because I wasn’t graduating with any close friends and didn’t know most of the people in my ceremony, but I still wanted that moment. I wanted to walk across the stage and shake hands with the president of my university while my family cheered me on from the stands. However, none of this changes what I’ve accomplished or the pride I take in it. I am graduating from CSULB summa cum laude with a major in English: Creative Writing, a double minor in French and Linguistics, and a certificate in TEFL (teaching English as a foreign language). I took 41 classes, worked two jobs (at different times), studied in Paris for one semester, lived in my first apartment, spent countless hours on homework, and made lifelong friends. As I come to the end of this amazing journey, there are many people to thank. First of all, I would like to thank my professors. I was taught by so many intelligent, accomplished, motivating individuals over my four years at CSULB. They made class fun and made the material engaging. My creative writing professors and my peers helped guide me to refine my ideas and visions for my projects and to produce better writing. Reading the pieces my classmates had created gave me valuable experience giving feedback and gave me ideas for how to improve my own work. I was dreading taking Medieval and Renaissance lit and was afraid I wouldn’t understand what we read, but my professor broke everything down so it made sense, related the material to present day, and made class something I actually looked forward to. My English capstone absolutely kicked my butt, made me cry multiple times, and caused me extensive stress and a few breakdowns, but I have to thank that professor too. I don’t think I would have been as confident becoming a writing tutor if I hadn’t gone through a class that rigorous and detail oriented when it came to writing papers. I left that class with a 10 page paper that I knew was well researched and well argued and perfect when it came to MLA citations and grammar (and that’s the paper I submitted for my application to be a writing tutor). I was really nervous for my first college French class. I was afraid it would be too hard and that I wouldn’t be good enough, and at that point I wasn’t even sure if I was going to do the minor--I was just trying it out. It ended up being such a good experience, and the main reason for that is because my professor was so kind, encouraging, and accepting. She encouraged us to speak as much as possible and to make mistakes because that was the only way to improve. She pushed me to pursue the minor and to study abroad. I honestly don’t even remember why I took my first dance class--I think I just wanted to try out a new elective after having done choir the two semesters before. I had never danced before, and I felt so awkward, especially during the first few classes, because I felt like I didn’t have the “rhythm” that everyone else did and that I wasn’t “cool” enough. I wanted to drop the class, but I decided to give it a week to see if it got better, and it did. What I will never forget from both of my hip-hop classes is the community and support. Whether we were going across the floor, performing in small groups, or freestyling in a cypher, everyone cheered each other on and hyped each other up. One of the most important things I learned in my dance classes was how to collaborate with others and to compromise on a vision I had for a project to create something even better with a group. I want to thank all of my dance professors for giving me the tools to express myself in a new way and for giving me a space where all of the stress from my other classes would disappear. I became more confident and felt more capable out in the world because of what I learned in those studios. If I hadn’t taken that first dance class, I’m not sure that I would have agreed to try out Zumba at the rec center with my friends when they tried to get me to go with them one day. Now, it’s pretty much my favorite form of exercise! On that note, I would like to thank my rec center Zumba and yoga instructors for the fun classes that always gave me a place to breathe and de-stress after my classes and work. I would like to thank my supervisors for the opportunities they gave me, for being so kind, supportive, and understanding, and for fostering a sense of community in the workplace. I would also like to thank my co-workers for making work fun. One of the reasons I enjoyed working at the writing center so much was my group of co-workers. You guys are insanely intelligent and accomplished, and it was an honor getting to work alongside you. I’m so sad that I didn’t get to say goodbye to you in person, but I will always have fond memories of ranting about our classes and how stressed we were in between sessions. I know y’all are going to do great things. Let’s keep in touch! I would like to thank my friends, both the ones I made in college and those I still talk to from high school. I am thankful for my roommate in the dorms who became one of my closest college friends early on. Freshman year, especially first semester, was really hard for me in a lot of ways--I was taking all GE classes that I wasn’t interested in, and I joined clubs that aligned with my interests but didn’t enjoy them as much as I thought I would. I am thankful for the friends I met then, and for our beach days and Yogurtland outings. Sophomore year was what I think of as the golden year of college. This is when I met my “hallway fam.” I hadn’t been especially excited to return to school because freshman year had been very underwhelming, but I was determined to try my best to make new friends in my dorm. I left my door open after moving my things in and introduced myself to my new neighbors. We had “Week of Welcome,” which was a whole week of outings and activities before classes started. I became friends with so many amazing girls that week. For that whole year, we had six pm dinners, spontaneous hallway hangs, game nights, and beach days. On days when I was sad or upset or so stressed out I couldn’t see straight, my friends were there for me. Y’all are pretty much the reason college turned around for me. I would also like to give a shout out to my ISA Paris fam. I went into my study abroad program knowing no one, and I was nervous about making friends and finding people to travel with. But it turned out I had nothing to worry about :) Some of my favorite college memories are adventuring and having deep life talks with you. Lastly, and most importantly, I would like to thank my family. You have been there cheering me on since the beginning. Mom and Dad, I would not have made it through this college journey without your financial and emotional support. You celebrated with me when I got a job, when I had a good day, and when I got a good grade on a test, and you supported me when I had just broken down in class, when I decided to quit a job, and when I felt so awful I wasn’t sure I could make it through the day. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you. If I could go back and tell my freshman year self who was about to move in anything, I would say this: Your roommate is not going to be a drug dealer. Your classes will not be too hard for you. You will make friends. You are capable of more than you think that you are. And that place with the blue pyramid that seemed so big and scary during your SOAR? One day, it’s going to feel like home.
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AuthorHey guys, it's May! I hope you'll join me as I document my semester abroad. Archives
May 2020
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