WELCOME TO
M Y L I F E
photo by Gillian Smit
So I wrote this over a week ago now, but I just hadn’t gotten around to posting it because I’ve been going from one trip to another without much free time. But anyway, I’m “home” now (although it’s only still going to be home for a little over a week now!), so here it is: 4/28/19 (that felt weird writing the month first wow) Hi everyone! I know I haven’t been posting much at all this semester, but I just haven’t been that inspired to write. I’ve been vlogging most of my trips and some of my life at home/school so I’ll be able to remember it that way, but since this blog is just for fun, I wasn’t going force myself to write when I didn’t want to. But I felt inspired to write this, and there will be a post coming soon about my Morocco trip! Last night as I sat in the lobby of our hotel in Meknes, catching up on texts and emails with WiFi (after not having access for three days, which was actually kind of nice), Instagram showed me the story I had posted a year ago, of me eating a red bean bun and listening to someone sing karaoke in Little Tokyo in LA with a few friends from my dance class. It made me smile because that had been such a good day. In fact, that was really the only good day I had that week. Knowing that I got to spend time with friends, see a dance performance, and explore LA was what got me through the week when I had to write the rough draft of a research paper and finish out my last two shifts at a job that was anxiety inducing and emotionally draining. I had intended to stick with the job for the whole semester but decided to quit early because I needed more time to focus on work for my English capstone (the one I was writing the paper for).
A year ago, I was writing two 10 page, five source literary research papers on Toni Morrison’s Sula. I wasn’t interested in what I was learning in my classes and felt paralyzed with stress and generally disengaged. I was researching what options there were for college drop-outs, and I was counting down the days until the semester was over (basically, I was completely burnt out, mentally and emotionally). Last night, I lay in the hotel bed just staring at the ceiling and unable to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about how unbelievable my trip to Morocco had been and how grateful I was for my life. I know studying abroad is a bit of a glorified reality and that of course traveling is going to be more fun than writing research papers, but in general, even when I’m doing routine things like going to class and grocery shopping, I feel so much happier than I did a year ago. I have grown and changed so much in the past year and even though I still have a lot of work to do in terms of dealing with my anxiety and stress (like, LOADS), I am in a much better place and have much more hope for the future. <3 Love you all and hope you're doing well. ~May
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorHey guys, it's May! I hope you'll join me as I document my semester abroad. Archives
May 2020
Categories |